Category Archives: Politics

An Election Heard Round the World

In 2016, Donald Trump shocked the world. With no political experience whatsoever he ran for president and defeated two political dynasties, the Bushes and Clintons, in the Republican primary and general election, respectively.

Trump came out of nowhere and took the bipartisan ruling establishment completely by surprise. At first, they ridiculed him, Huffpo going so far as to relegate any articles about his campaign to the Entertainment section.

However, it didn’t take long before they recognized Trump was a credible threat not only to the Republican Party side of the establishment, but the whole, corrupt, globalist cabal. That’s when they began demonizing him. And once he won the presidency, the establishment committed itself to two objectives:

  1. Neuter his presidency to the best of its ability with investigations, impeachments, and resistance to his directives by the executive branch bureaucracy and,
  • Make sure electing him or anyone like him could never, ever, happen again.

And so, the public was regaled with anti-Trumpism nonstop, during and after his presidency, for eight straight years. Trump and his supporters weren’t the only victims of this psychological waterboarding. Tens of millions of American liberals became consumed with irrational fear planted in their psyches by the media that Trump would “end democracy” and replace it with 1930s-style fascism a la Hitler or Mussolini.

Even after Trump’s first term, during which none of this happened, liberals as high profile as actor Robert De Niro truly believed they would be in physical danger were Trump to be elected again. Certainly, Trump made the media’s job easier with some of the undisciplined things he said, but no one can point to any overt act of his as president that remotely justifies this animal terror.

What would motivate the political establishment to go this far, to demonize one half of the electorate along with their candidate, and to inflict psychological terror on the other half? To go so far as to prosecute Trump in multiple jurisdictions on spurious charges even after he secured the Republican nomination?

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It was truly an election heard round the world. Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

Election Year Slogans Aren’t Just Dumb, They’re Completely Wrong

Another presidential election is upon us and, as usual, there is really no way to avoid it. Less than three weeks from today, either Kamala Harris or Donald Trump will begin preparing to assume the most terrifying, destructive power the world has ever known. And regardless of which one wins, the relentless destruction of our lives, liberties, and estates will continue.

The one thing we can look forward to after November 5 will be the temporary cessation of ritual election year slogans blaring at us from every corner of the media sphere. It isn’t merely that these slogans are hysterical and dumb. They are mostly completely wrong.

Let’s take one we hear every presidential election year that no one seems to question: “We need a president who will unite the country.” Heated arguments occur between pundits over which candidate is more “divisive” and even supporters of a candidate will say he is better but reflectively ask, “Can he unite America?”

If anyone has any idea what this means, then please tell me. I have none. It seems to suggest that 330 million people are all supposed to either believe the same thing or pretend they do. It is suggested there is some common thing these 330 million are working on that will benefit them all equally if only the right dear leader would show them the way.

The truth is the whole “unite the country” premise is wrong. It’s the opposite of the truth. A free country is one where people are left alone by their government to pursue their very separate interests. It is that from which all good things come as Adam Smith so astutely observed during the USA’s birth year. The only time the whole country is united behind a president is during a war. And those are all disasters.

A related sophism is the hackneyed refrain about the president “moving us forward.” Every presidential candidate promises this and virtually no one stops to ask what it means. It is just another variation on the theme that “we” are all working on some project vital to each and every one of us. What that project is I have no idea. This one employs fictional start and end points as metaphors for achieving this great work.

Most people, when not under the spell of these incantations, are working on their own lives, taking care of their own families, and at most helping make their own communities a nicer place to live for themselves.

And that’s perfectly ok. That’s what they’re supposed to be doing. History shows that leaving them alone to do precisely that makes the whole world better for everyone.

Mao Zedong had everyone united and working on the same project, whether they liked it or not. About fifty million of them ended up dead. Do you know what his project was called? The Great Leap Forward. I kid you not.

Really, as soon as a politician utters the word “we” or “us,” you should be suspicious. Nothing good ever follows. When you hear the words “move forward,” run like hell. Or prepare to defend yourself.

Then there is the perennial call for a president who can “get things done.”

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

With Biden Out and Trump Brought to Heel, the Swamp Wins Again

Well, that didn’t take long.

Ten days ago, President Biden was adamant he would be the Democratic Party’s nominee for president and defeat “threat to democracy” Donald Trump. Trump was still promising to “drain the Swamp” in Washington, D.C., expurgating DEI and critical race theory from federal agencies, deporting illegal aliens who entered the country in record numbers during Biden’s administration, and end the Swamp’s proxy war against Russia in Ukraine.

As of this morning, Biden is out of the race and out of sight and mind. The Democratic Party’s national media is already in high gear promoting Kamala Harris. And Trump, following an assassination attempt by yet another “lone gunman,” has been brought to heel.

The only thing unprecedented about Biden’s decision not to seek reelection is its timing. Lyndon Johnson similarly announced he would not seek reelection in 1968 – only one of many similarities between this year and that one – but he did it far earlier in the year. That gave the Democratic Party much more time to select and rally around a replacement candidate, albeit in an unsuccessful effort to hold onto the White House.

The change in Trump over the past ten days is much more striking, if unreported. It is understandable that Trump was shaken by the assassination attempt. That explains the lack of fire in his voice while delivering his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention just a few days later. But what is of much greater significance was the content of the speech, not the style.

Trump said himself that he completely threw away the speech he intended to give at the RNC and now would deliver one centered around national unity. Since the acceptance speech, he has disavowed Project 2025 as a product of the “extreme right,” attempting to position himself as a moderate.

He may not have used that word, opting for “common sense” instead, but what else could it mean? If there is an extreme right that he says he is not a part of, then what else could he be but a moderate? Rumors that his campaign is already second guessing the selection of J.D. Vance as running mate due to the liability of his “extremist” positions only further confirms that Trump has been effectively neutered by the assassination attempt in terms of any threat he may have posed to the establishment.

Don’t forget that Trump’s ideological difference from the establishment was always greatly exaggerated. He never questioned the existence of a global standing army, just that it shouldn’t be used so often and for such insubstantial benefit. He promised “not to touch” Social Security and Medicare, which together with the military comprise about two thirds of federal spending.

He claimed to have cut regulations significantly during his first term but did not fundamentally threaten the New Deal regulatory bureaucracy in any way. Even years into his presidency, prior to the Covid pandemic, nothing much had changed. And in 2020, nothing changed for the better.

A Trump now positioning himself as even more moderate than the Trump of his first term is not going to get the job done. Project 2025 may be “extreme,” but extremism is just what is needed right now. There is nothing moderate about the left’s program. They swing for the fences during every at bat and have rarely struck out during the past several decades. If the juggernaut is going to be stopped it won’t be by a president seeking to “unite the country” and meet far left extremism with “common sense.”

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

The real problem with Biden and Trump

Winds of uncertainty swirl inside the imperial beltway as prominent Democrats continue to call on President Biden to abandon his campaign for the presidency due to his now acknowledged cognitive issues. The Atlantic last week went so far as to call for Biden to resign as president, saying it would “give American democracy its best chance of surviving.”

The Democratic Party and the media (but I repeat myself) would have you believe Biden’s cognitive issues present America with two grave problems. One, that he is presently unable to fulfill his present duties as president; two, that he will be unable to defeat former President Donald Trump in November and “save democracy” from the candidate who could potentially get the most votes.

Trump supposedly presents a third problem, that being the “danger to democracy” he represents. This despite the fact that we’ve already lived through four years of Trump being president and “democracy,’ at least the way the empire defines it, is alive and well.

None of this is true. The first clue to its falsity is the media saying it. Since Trump first entered politics and at least since 2020, the national media has served as a perfect contraindicator for the truth and the narratives related to the 2024 election are no exception. Biden’s incompetence poses no danger to everyday Americans in the present. It will likely matter little for his chances to defeat Donald Trump in the November election, just as it mattered little in 2020.

And no, Donald Trump represents no danger to “democracy,” whatever the power elite actually means by that, nor to the republican form of government created by and guaranteed to every state in the union by the U.S. Constitution.

Make no mistake, Biden and Trump are a problem, but not for Americans. They are a problem for the empire. Ultimately, they represent the same problem for the empire, although it would have you believe otherwise.

To understand this, one must put aside civic fairy tales and acknowledge how the American political system really works. The fairy tale says the American system is “a democracy,” and the president is elected by a majority vote of the people and directs the federal apparatus according to the “will of the people.”

The Congress is also elected by a majority vote of the people in the states and districts therein and writes the laws the president executes and must abide in fulfilling his duties.

That is certainly what the Constitution says, but it is not how the American political system works. Nor has it worked that way for close to a century.

In reality, that system of government was replaced during what Garet Garrett called “The Revolution Was,” referring to the New Deal. The revolution consisted of Congress creating myriad federal agencies to “regulate” the economy and then delegating its legislative power to the unelected bureaucrats comprising those agencies.

At first, the bureaucrats took their direction from the president, drawing praise from both Hitler and Mussolini due to the system’s similarity to the fascism that had inspired it. But over time, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. The bureaucrats began telling the president what they were going to do instead of the other way around.

Yes, the elected president may still make the final decision on this or that policy. But he makes that decision between two choices presented by the bureaucrats, their Choice A and their Choice B. This is why so little seems to change even when the incumbent party is swept out power in an electoral landslide. Thus, even after the Republican Revolution of 1996 or the election of supposed ubermonster Donald Trump in 2016, nothing really changed. The imperial machine kept grinding on as if there had been no election at all.

After WWII, foreign policy was reconstructed in similar fashion. A national security state was created wherein permanently employed bureaucrats in the State Department, Pentagon, and “intelligence community” assumed the power to direct foreign policy in the same way the administrative state runs domestic policy. Again, the president may make the final decision but it’s usually after being presented with a binary choice between two options amenable to the bureaucracy.

“Mr. President, do you want to bomb Syria or merely impose economic sanctions?”

All of this begs an obvious question: if the permanent bureaucracy is really running things, how do either Biden or Trump pose a problem?

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

The Libertarian Party Once Again Signals No Threat to the Establishment

The Libertarian Party held its national convention over the Memorial Day Weekend, nominating its presidential ticket and hosting high profile guest speakers including Vivek Ramaswamy, RFK, Jr., and former President Donald Trump. While controversial within the party, inviting these non-libertarians to speak to the party’s delegates garnered massive national attention for the party which is traditionally only lightly covered by the media outside C-Span.

Thanks to the Herculean efforts of party Chair Angela McCardle and the support of one of the highest profile libertarians in the country, Dave Smith, the net result of the convention was to once again signal to all paying attention for the first time that the party poses no threat to the establishment.

It was supposed to be different this time. After uninspiring presidential campaigns for four straight presidential election cycles, the party was taken over in 2022 by the Mises Caucus, which promised to bring a more “hardcore,” Ron Paul-style brand of libertarianism to the party. While Jo Jorgensen was certainly a marked improvement over Johnson/Weld and (ugh) Bob Barr – she’s actually a libertarian – her campaign’s decisions to support Black Lives Matter and offer no resistance to the Covid Regime disappointed those who would eventually take over the party.

Yet, despite winning supermajorities in 2022 and re-electing their preferred chair, McCardle, the party’s convention ended up, intentionally or not, broadcasting the same signal to America as had Johnson/Weld: we won’t rock the boat.

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupidand Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? 

If Kristi Noem is a monster…

“I wish I owned half of that dog…Because I would kill my half.” – Pudd’nhead Wilson

The fictional genius who invented fingerprint analysis to solve a murder case had already cemented his reputation as a fool decades before with a clumsy joke about killing a dog. Neither his apparent talent nor his subsequent accomplishments could overcome the first impression made on the simple townsfolk of Dawson’s Landing. It was decided then and there, on Wilson’s first day in town, that he must be and would thereafter be referred to as a pudd’nhead.

One hundred years later, not much has changed. Kristi Noem’s anecdote about shooting a vicious dog decades ago has all but ruined her political prospects, which included consideration as Donald Trump’s 2024 running mate.

For all the similarities, though, there are important differences. First, the Dawson’s Landing townsfolk don’t descend into moral panic over Wilson’s remark. Their objection to it was its apparent absurdity. 1830 Missourians understood dogs got shot when they were a nuisance, especially if their offenses included killing livestock and attacking humans. These weren’t people who could afford to be hysterical over killing an animal. They were employed mostly in agriculture, where animals were killed for food on a daily basis, far away from pristine dining rooms where dwelt the few at that time who may have objected.

Neither was this Noem’s first day in town, figuratively speaking. She has been in politics since 2007, serving first as a representative in South Dakota’s State House of Representatives and then as a representative in Congress for several terms. She is halfway through her second term as governor, having won reelection in a landslide after being the one and only governor in the United States who did not lock down her state for even a single day during Coronasteria, a.k.a. “the pandemic.”

It is a mystery how someone with Noem’s wisdom and political experience could commit such a colossal blunder. And let’s be clear, it wasn’t shooting the dog that has sunk her; it was including the anecdote in her book. Had she simply shot the dog and went on with her life, nobody would have known. Even if some opposition researcher had found out in a hypothetical campaign for higher office, nobody would have cared.

Like Wilson, Noem has managed to torpedo a career that featured notable good deeds with the poor choice of a few words.

That words count far more than deeds says more about the American public than it does about Noem. The firestorm that has erupted over poor, vicious “Cricket” (the late canine) certainly includes opportunistic political opponents. No Democrat wants to see Noem picked as Trump’s running mate or otherwise continue to ascend the political ladder. But even conservatives and other heretofore allies have joined her detractors, shrieking their self-righteous indignation on social media under the hashtag #KristiNoemisamonster.

Given the behavior of American presidents just in the years since Cricket met his demise, it is truly terrifying to consider how infantile the American public has become, especially in a democratic republic with most restraints upon the democratic part all but destroyed.

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupidand Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? 

The Trump show trial is just the Clinton impeachment fiasco all over again

Most Americans have an unhealthy and unjustified reverence for the federal government. The presidency is the apex of this misplaced devotion, such that any diminishment in its hallowed trappings is an existential crisis. Thus, when the supposed “dignity of the Office of the President” is compromised, one can always count on sanctimonious calls for its restoration, both sincere and insincere, in language one would normally expect to be used while deploying holy water and incense.

The Trump show trial is no exception. His supporters correctly object to its purely political motivation for charges no one cares about related to alleged crimes with no discernible victim(s). In that sense, this is just a replay of the 1990s Clinton impeachment, also over a sex scandal, and also about a crime with no victims other than the sanctimony of the oath taken in a Congressional hearing.

Clinton lied under oath to a room full of liars. No one but the most fervent partisan supported his impeachment. It ended up boosting his approval ratings.

Trump’s case sets the new precedent of bringing criminal charges against a former president. Even those who support the prosecution see it as some unimaginable journey beyond the pale from which only a president who satisfies the divine requirements of the holy office can restore “our democracy.”

This thinking is completely upside down. If anything, Americans should be ashamed it’s taken this long to indict a president given the crimes virtually all of them commit. Prosecuting former presidents is something the framers clearly anticipated when expressly providing for it in the Constitution. They knew executive power was dangerous and fully expected to make use of the criminal justice system for any presidents that got out of line.

The problem today is almost everyone in imperial DC and far too large a portion of the American public approve of, or at least do not strongly object to, most of the crimes U.S. presidents commit. And so, we are left with politically motivated impeachments and prosecutions over trivialities like the Trump trial and Clinton impeachment.

Obviously, these powers to check the executive were created for far more important matters. Abusing war powers would be an obvious example. Presidents Biden, Trump, and Obama have all violated the War Powers Act of 1973 and that certainly is not an exhaustive list. This isn’t a theory. Here is the relevant language from the statute:

(c) Presidential executive power as Commander-in-Chief; limitation

The constitutional powers of the President as Commander-in-Chief to introduce United States Armed Forces into hostilities, or into situations where imminent involvement in hostilities is clearly indicated by the circumstances, are exercised only pursuant to (1) a declaration of war, (2) specific statutory authorization, or (3) a national emergency created by attack upon the United States, its territories or possessions, or its armed forces.

Every president named above has bombed Syria under circumstances when none of the three required circumstances applied. They broke a law that actually matters, risking war with Russia and inviting further terrorist attacks against the United States. They also killed innocent civilians in a country that had never attacked the United States; just in case anyone cares about the moral question anymore.

Not only were these presidents not prosecuted; they were applauded by the media and most of DC. For Trump, it was one of the few times he was complimented by the establishment, with even Bill Kristol tweeting out his unbridled joy that the president was being “presidential” for a change.

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

Why haven’t Republicans indicted Obama (or done anything else)?

“He pulls a knife, you pull a gun, he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.” – Officer Jim Malone, The Untouchables

CNN gleefully reports, “Trump is just days from his first criminal trial after latest legal gambit fails.” According to the “analysis” piece, Trump being the first president to be brought to criminal trial would mark him with a “historic stigma.” If convicted of a felony, it could also render Trump ineligible to hold public office, even if he were elected president in a landslide.

Whether or not the Democrats would risk overturning an election in such a way is anyone’s guess. Odds are they would. Either way, they have nothing to lose in moving forward with these indictments because, as usual, Republicans are putting up no resistance whatsoever. Yes, they’re crying about it, calling the persecution of Trump “lawfare” and wringing their hands about the precedents being set.

No one cares. No one ever cares when Republicans complain about Democratic enormities. Republicans complain (and fund raise) and Democrats continue to act. This cycle needs to be broken.

The Republicans must indict Barack Obama and arrest him. And they have to make it look worse than Trump’s arrest. Issue a warrant and film him, cuffed, being put into the back of a police car, with the cop helpfully pushing his head down as is their custom for the suspect’s safety.

He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue, figuratively speaking.

It’s not as if this is some Herculean task. Every president commits indictable crimes while in office. They all use the IRS to go after political opponents. Obama did. Republicans screamed about it. Indict him for it. Find a right-wing court in a red state and bring the charges. As the Democrats have shown, they don’t even have be legit. “Trumped up” charges will do just fine, pun intended. Let Biden know he’s next, the minute he leaves office.

The Republicans could even bring legitimate charges, like violating the War Powers Act while in office, which Obama did on hundreds of occasions. He bombed Syria not only without Congressional approval but after Congress refused to grant his request for authorization. Who cares if Trump and Biden did it, too? This isn’t about fairness or consistency or proving some academic point. It’s war. You either fight, surrender, or die.

I can already hear the sanctimonious objections from conservatives who “don’t want to live in a country where the sacred trust of enforcing the law is abused in this manner.” Newsflash: you already do. The only question is whether you’re going to do something about it other than cry.

But cry about it is all Republicans ever do. When in power, the Democrats act; the Republicans talk (and fund raise). Consider a sports analogy.

Back in the early 1990s, the Buffalo Bills had one of the most explosive offenses in NFL history. They scored so many points so fast that Jim Kelly’s and Thurman Thomas’ statistics were actually muted in some seasons because they were taken out of the game so early. The Bills blew out teams that badly (and then lost the Super Bowl four straight times).

During a playoff game in Buffalo against Kansas City, analyst and former coach Bill Walsh remarked that the Chiefs’ strategy of “dive right, dive left” for three yards and a cloud of dust was never going to work while the Bills were busy gobbling up yards throwing the ball downfield.

He was right. The Bills were up 17-0 by halftime and never looked back.

This Republicans have been the 1992 Chiefs for the past one hundred years. When the Democrats have power, they make one great leap forward after another in expanding the reach of government. Republicans kick and scream while they’re doing it but when handed the reins of power they do nothing. Once the Democrats are back in, another great leap forward. Lather, rinse, repeat. 

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupidand Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

The bloodbath hoax and the myth of the unbiased, apolitical journalist

It’s been four days since former President Donald Trump vowed to make American streets flow with blood if he is not elected in November. The media has moved on to provide other valuable information to a grateful public.


And if you believe that…


The #bloodbath farce is the latest media-driven hysteria that only serves to confirm for Trump and his supporters that the establishment media are “enemies of the people” who cannot be trusted to honestly report the time of day. It’s hard to argue with them when it comes to news about the Donald. 


Less partisan or politically interested observers wistfully yearn for the “good old days” when journalists simply reported the facts of the stories they covered, regardless of their political biases, without slant or distortion. But like most memories of the 20th century, the hard-nosed, objective, just-the-facts-ma’am journalist reporting the news without prejudice or bias is a myth. Journalists were never unbiased and have distorted the news, by slant, omission, or pure fabrication, for all of American history.


The idea of the unbiased, apolitical journalist is largely a product of the Progressive Era, as are the myths of the apolitical bureaucrat, the apolitical government scientist, the apolitical government schoolteacher, etc.


These myths were central to the progressive movement because its primary goal was to replace the free decisions of individuals with the coerced decisions of government “experts.” It was essential that people believed these decisions were made purely on their technical merits and “benefit to society” and were not, in part or in whole, made for political reasons.


Nowhere was belief in this myth more important than in journalism, the conduit through which flowed the information upon which people would base their support or resistance. That’s why journalists are constantly glorified by the establishment, including by other journalists. Throughout the 20th century, they were lionized in books and films. But who were they really and did any truly “speak truth to power” in service of the public?


The early Progressive Era featured “muckrakers” such as Upton Sinclair and Ida Tarbell. The mid-20th century brought us Edward R. Murrow and the irreproachable Walter Cronkite. The later 20th century gave us Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.


Supposedly, these are all heroes whose courage and relentless pursuit of the truth informed the public and checked the powerful. So says the myth. Reality begs to differ.

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupidand Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? 

The Swamp hits Biden with the ol’ classified documents routine

Another day, another set of classified documents found in President Joe Biden’s possession. Just in case anyone missed the first two times that this is an inside job by the Democratic Party to ensure somebody besides Biden heads the party’s presidential ticket in 2024, a third cache of documents was revealed on Saturday.

They’re so committed to making this an ongoing news story they’re even working weekends. It’s a old but effective trick to make one event that happened years in the past seem like multiple events recurring in the present. “Breaking! Five more classified documents discovered! Gasp! Red alert!”

The most important thing to remember about all of these classified documents scandals is what they are not. And that is they are not any real concern for the public. The media and interested political operatives would have you believe these documents contain information so sensitive that their falling into the wrong hands could result in us all speaking Russian or Chinese. They don’t.

The truth is there are very few secrets national governments try to keep that allies and adversaries alike haven’t stolen. The government likes to portray itself as secretly protecting the public from all sorts of unseen danger, both state-sponsored and otherwise. “If you only knew what goes on behind the scenes, you’d be terrified,” they’d like you to think. Many of the bureaucratic rank and file believe this themselves.

In reality, most of what even the national security state does is cooked up nonsense to justify legions of government drones and billions per year in wasted spending. The histrionics over the discovery of compromised classified material is usually just political posturing. If it weren’t, then we’d have seen some significant consequences by now from the classified documents stored on Hillary Clinton’s infamous private server, which even podunk governments in Eastern Europe and Africa probably have their hands on by now. We haven’t and we won’t.

When the alarm over mishandling of classified documents is genuine, it isn’t for fear of any danger to the public. Everyone should realize that’s the last thing these people are concerned about. What they are concerned about is the real reason most of these documents get classified in the first place: the embarrassing to themselves or potentially incriminating information the documents may contain.

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Tom Mullen is the author of It’s the Fed, Stupid and Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?